Funny Things

I had to write an obituary for a fictional character for my News Reporting class.  The most fun I’ve ever had doing homework.

Buzz Lightyear, Andy’s number one space ranger, best known for his unfailing optimism, leadership skills, and courage in the face of danger died Sunday afternoon while demonstrating proper flight procedures for Andy’s army men.  He was Andy’s toy for 15 years.  Witnesses of the event say that Buzz intended to fly from one side of the kitchen to the other when he misjudged his distance and landed in the garbage disposal.  Sarge, commander of Andy’s army men explained that his men do have specific procedures in place in case any of the toys are in trouble.  “This situation was beyond our control,” he says, as he sniffs back tears.  “Sadly, before we were able to rescue Buzz, Andy’s mom turned the disposal on.  I have been in similar situations before and I knew that was the end.”  “Buzz was a great guy,” commented Sheriff Woody Pride.  “He and I may have had our differences in the past but we truly became best of friends,” he pauses to take a deep breath. “I know I speak for everyone when I say that Buzz will be missed.”

Buzz joined Andy’s toy collection when Andy received him as a birthday present 15 years ago.  Buzz quickly became one of Andy’s favorite toys.  Mr. Potato Head explained, “Woody didn’t get along with Buzz when he first showed up.  He was jealous that Andy played with Buzz so much.  Plus, the whole time, Buzz thought he was a real space man.  He snapped out of that though and became quite the leader. All of the toys really looked up to him.”

Buzz became a leader of his fellow toys, teaching others how to survive in various situations and, above all, how to have fun.  “Buzz always had a big smile on his face,” said Sheriff Woody.  “He may have had a few screws lose, but he was a good balance to my personality. I can be a little too serious sometimes.” Along with his happiness, Buzz’s patience never wore thin.  He could always been found helping out one of his friends. “He taught me how to be brave, and how to roar!” Rex said of Buzz.  “He helped me heard the sheep,” said his wife, the delicate shepherdess Bo Peep.  “Buzz was my hero.  It’s just too bad he never realized he couldn’t actually fly,” she admits with a sob.

Buzz is survived by his wife of three years, Bo Peep.  The funeral services are scheduled to take place on Tuesday, February 23rd 2010 in Andy’s room.

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